Dog Humor

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 10 Dog Peeves

The Dog Rules 

 How to Clean the Toilet

93 Concepts Dogs Don't Understand 

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Keeping Track

Carols' Dog Person List

Other Dog Person List

Letter to God

 

 

 

Dogs of the World Unite

You would think by now they would have concluded that being mans best friend was a rotten career choice. Dogs have been shaking hands. fetching sticks, finding lost children and patrolling junk yards for a few millennia now. And for what? A pat on the head?
I love dogs, but it's time they learned a few things about self-esteem and empowerment from cats. Cats don't do anything they don't want to do, and they still get treated like Egyptian royalty. Their owners spend a fortune buying tiny cans filled with tender, liver flavored victuals and consider themselves blessed if Tabby decides to enter the room.

Dogs are expected to eat what ever is tossed to them. They are expected to come immediately when ever they are whistled for and expected to live happily with who ever buys them out of a basket.
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Cats would never chase a mechanical rabbit around a race track. Dogs are bright enough to realize they will never catch Swifty. But they keep chasing him because they want to please. Dogs not only take these indignities lying down, they take them sitting up and begging. They'll let you put flowered hats on their head and dress them up in tutus. Cats categorically refuse to perform.

I think it's time that dogs just said NO. No, we won't pull sleds across Alaska for a bowl of reeking fish stew. No, we won't watch the world go by, panting in the back seat of a locked Toyota in a Kmart lot. No, we won't let you name us Ralph. And no more greasy gristle. We want prime cuts.
Cats get what they want because they won't settle for a dog's life. It's all about self-esteem and empowerment. What dogs need are a few 12 step sessions with a sensitive facilitator. They have to give themselves permission to feel good about themselves, to stop craving approval, to stop being so damn co-dependent. If he is going to be mans best friend, Ralph should at least get union scale and a 401K.

Taken from Readers Digest